Can I Disagree Without Hating or Disrespecting?

This post is a little longer than normal.  A little while ago I dipped my toe into a Facebook dialogue on the idea of homosexuality.   A person posted that opposition to homosexuality was hateful and disrespectful to others in that lifestyle.  I asked the question:  “Can I teach that homosexuality is sinful without hate or disrespect?”  The answer I received was “no”.  I wasn’t surprised but I am surprised by the idea that to disagree with someone’s choices is characterized by the words “hate and disrespect”.  Now, obviously it’s possible to be hateful and disrespectful in our words and actions but is basic disagreement hateful and disrespectful?  If I were to challenge a brother in an adulterous relationship that he was wrong, could I rightly be characterized as hating him or disrespecting him?  I don’t think so.  In this closing section of 2 Thessalonians Paul goes back to the actions and attitudes to take with someone who is not obedient to God’s word.  Here is what he writes:  “13 But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary in doing good. 14 And if anyone does not obey our word in this epistle, note that person and do not keep company with him, that he may be ashamed. 15 Yet do not count him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.

Paul and Jesus share this idea in their teaching.  Jesus’ followers are not to ignore sin in their own lives or the lives of others.  But when it comes to the lives of others, the attitude and actions are never to be marked by hate or disrespect…rather love…”Yet do not count him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.”  When we find ourselves in disagreement with others over the bible, those disagreements should never rise to the level of hate or disrespect, regardless of the disagreement, even something as significant as human sexuality.  God certainly gives His child the ability to vehemently disagree without hate.  After all, didn’t Jesus vehemently disagree with the Pharisees…even calling them “whitewashed tombs” and yet Jesus didn’t hate them or disrespect them.  I don’t suggest you or I call people names…I don’t think I can do that without sin, but Jesus could.  And I can disagree with someone without hating them and I think you can too. Jesus followers are called to warn those who are unruly and note those who do not obey God’s word, but not as enemies, rather as brothers.  Admonishment needs to happen but it can happen in love, not hate.

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